DM 2007 Pt II - DM goes to the country

So for the second time the greatest darts tournament no one's heard of headed out of its comfort zone inside the M25 to darkest Hampshire. After his victory in Pt I CC had organised the 2nd installment in his manor - Petersfield. The venue of choice, the Red Lion, famed through out the south for its £1.95 pints of Fosters.

The Thrill and Hardcore, despite travelling by public transport from different parts of the country managed to bump into each other on the walk from the station to CC's pad. We were greeted by the man himself after a brief conversation with the Outdoor updating on the progress of himself and the Craziness who were driving from one traffic jam to another with ear bleeding volumes of G'n'R blasting out of the Crazys mean machine/Rover. So we sat around watching Sky Sports News, Home & Away and a terrible Boy zone video waiting for the Staines massive to turn up. After what seemed like an eternity the Rockin Rover pulled up in York Close and the crazy one and a his luggage handler, aka the Outdoor rolled up to the door. Brief greeting were exchanged before the march to the venue was embarked upon by the 5 combabtants, albeit a little late.

The venue seemed suited for the mammoth contest with the dartboard around the corner from the main bar area and all the TV's, games machines and hords of other patrons - well all 5 of them. The only issue was the lack of real ale for Hardcore who's dreams of a lovely warm pint of Old Mans Tadger after a 4 hour train journey were destroyed by the reality that he'd have to drink pints of Aussie amber piss water for the duration.

We got straight into the contest with no further a do trying to make up for our late start. 2 rounds of 501 beckoned with trophy holder & host CC taking on the outdoor to get things underway with the outdoor prevailing with the left handers dream - double 9 to finish. The Hardcore and Craziness were next up and it was in the early stages of this game that we witnessed one of the finest darts in DM history. The Hardcore showed the merit of a proper warm-up as by skipping one for himself his early darts could best politely be described as loose. The picture below highlights the location of Dave's dart which in fairness was in the general direction of the dartboard just a tad low! Hardcore claimed it slipped but we think that his unfamiliarity to the fizzy piss he was drinking may have temporarily addled his brain! This game proved to be a double 1 epic with the craziness prevailing after several doubles attempts and at least a couple of Kiwi etiquette no-no apres busting frustration darts.

The Craziness takes advantage of Hardcore bending down to pick up his legendary loose dart

The 1 st round continued with some ok darts and not overly spectacular finishing with the Outdoor and thrill leading the pack and the outdoors 48 the best check out but not enough to qualify for the pot which was set at a 50 point minimum. The hardcore was bringing up the rear but seemed to have overcome his early loose darts much to the relief of everyone in the vicinity who thought at any point a stray dart might be headed their way.At this point I should apologise for the lack of detail especially for the second round but the England vs Wales rugby match was on in the main bar and I kept popping off to watch us give the taffs a right pasting. The Outdoor kept up with his consistent form while I ended the first round and started the second with losses and fear that I would lose pace on the race. CC suffered most during the second round as having amassed 2 wins in the first and with hope of still making it to the final he slumped to a second round whitewash which also saw the hardcore pick up his only victory of the day with a nicely taken double 8. I had got back to winning ways against the Outdoor to claw back some of his lead and held off the challenge the craziness to end the second round to join Outdoor on 6 victories and a place in the final. The highest checkout at this point was a stylish 100 taken out by the Craziness against CC and it looked safe for the money as no other checkouts had been hit above 50 - a poor show from the rest of us.

The Hardcore dreams of an electronic scoreboard

The final took on the standard best of 3, 501 format with a nearest the bull to gain home advantage. I sneaked a dart inside the outdoors arrow and into the 25 to gain the advantage and so the contest could begin. My darts were solid but not spectacular but a few solid 60s and the odd triple gave me the advantage. The outdoor seemed a bit out of sorts which may have been due to weakness brought on by starvation. should be noted that since we had walked in the pub Outdoor had been craving the steak dinner on the menu but for various reasons had yet to consume one and had only been getting by on the odd pack of Nobby's nuts. Obviously I don't do charity and took the first game with some clinical finishing inspired by the craziness's sambuca fuelled pep talk in 2006 about how crap i was at hitting a double. The second game followed the same pattern and another double was hit by me without any sign of the double 1 on the horizon! The trophy was coming back to thrill town!!!

After this the competitors embarked on a crawl of the Petersfield hostelries - highlights include outdoor finally getting his steak dinner, some kind of wolf sitting on the pub roof eyeing us hungrily with its demon eyes (not a booze fuelled hallucination), Hardcores joy at going to a pub with real ale, black sambuca, some idiot ruining deal or no deal on the quiz machine and cheesy chips and kebab. all in all a fine event, well organised and the trophy going back to its proper place.

The Champion give the paparazzi the respect they deserve

Outdoor and Thrill take on the might of Deal or No Deal, Hardcore is eaten by a Triffid!

I've got a lot to live up to for the next event be it in sunny Chiswick or far off Exeter..........


Bow down and worship at the sacred DM alter of


The Thrill